A nextdoor.com reader complained of an "erratic man" near her residence. Which prompted another reader to ask: "Aren't all men erratic?" (Turns out the fellow apparently was yelling into a cell phone. Perfectly normal behavior to me.)

• While we're on the subject: Is nextdoor.com going all literary on us? That was my fear after a reader compared a dusk here to "the sweet flow of golden honey on the tongues of our souls."

Another reader couldn't let that go. "Wait, my soul has a tongue?" he asked.

• Then came the bombshell from another contributor. Your shoes have both," he revealed.

• Regarding the recent finding that Long Beach has the slowest traffic in the nation: Don't think that everyone around here is upset with that distinction. A couple of years ago, artist Mindy Alper was the subject of a prize-winning documentary titled: "Heaven is a traffic jam on the 405." (see photo). Alper finds traffic congestion a time to sit back and relax.

• I'm familiar, of course, with "t-ping," the school-kid practice of littering the outside of a house of a classmate with toilet paper. But one local group of paper pranksters took this practice a step further (see photo), adding a disconnected feature.

• In an unrelated case, I was walking to a shower in my gym when I decided to use the urinal. When I flushed, nothing happened. So I pressed harder, at which time the urinal exploded with a small torrent of water.

Responsible guy that I am, I was going to inform the front desk out in the lobby .

But I had a dilemma. I was naked. What to do? Well I finished my shower, blockaded the urinal and then let the staff know.

The next day, a sign went up requesting that users not flush too strenuously, and that the problem was being looked into.

I like to think of it as The Steve Harvey Rule. At least I think I like it.

• Oh, yes, almost forgot. Happy Valentine's Day. As a public service, this column offers a suggestion for any readers who are looking for a bride or groom (see photo).

Steve Harvey can be reached at steveharvey9@gmail.com. His Twitter handle is @sharvey9.

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