The debates are plastic surgery and America loves fake perfection.

I thought I just got done reading dozens of articles before Wednesday night telling me how debates don’t matter and this has been proven time and time again historically? Nonetheless, we’re told by our unbiased (hahahahaha) media that Republican Mitt Romney scored some major blows in round one of three during Wednesday night’s presidential debate.


Sorry, I was channeling my inner Jim Lehrer, who did nothing to allay the country’s concerns of whether PBS (like, .01% of the budget, a word document on your hard drive if you will) should be cut from our government — Sesame Street will have its revenge . He also did nothing to really move the conversation forward, because he really DID NOTHING (and asked barely anything).

In case you were wondering (which Honey Boo Boo would say shame on you for), the American beauty pageant is alive and well. And if you are a democrat, you are panicking because your prized orator got knocked around by the surface-only debate format. Although early polls actually showed he remained steady, and may have gained with independents — so go figure.

Obama is great at speeches, especially when he can build to a crescendo and talk in the most liberal ideological sense. In debates, he had to go against our lowered expectations of recent memory speakers — aka George Bush and John McCain, two really brutal and poor speakers.

For people plugged in, these mono-y-mono fights can be perversely depressing/fun. And if you need the debates, which happen in the last month of a yearlong fight, to figure this whole thing out then I’m tempted to say your voting rights should be revoked

Someone joked that this was the first thing they’d ever seen Romney be good at politically, and you couldn’t help but wonder if they were right. He, for the most part, looked best contrasted in the primary debates against a room full of wackos. In this format, Romney talks and looks very presidential.

And guess what, the debates are worthwhile ONLY to show that kind of denominator. We have created something that we analyze and give out victories for — and it has nothing to do with policy. It’s ONLY about how did he or she look and sound and come off?

It doesn’t matter if Romney never gave a concrete plan for anything. It sounded good to hear him cherry pick from current healthcare and stimulus plans. It doesn’t matter that after the debates his team said he actually has no plan for people with pre-existing health conditions. It doesn’t matter if nobody has yet to figure out the math on his tax plan. Obama fudged his healthcare law, not properly noting how premiums have risen regardless of the plan. Nobody cares about his mechanical drones and their overseas killing (well, it was a domestic debate).

None of that matters. Someone I read early on in the evening might have summed it up best, the debate allowed Romney to look presidential for the first time during the entire election cycle.

Romney looked confident in what he was saying, even if it backtracked from months upon months of saying something differently. Obama looked like he had too much to say, his pauses came off more pronounced and he didn’t stay on point enough.

The debates used to be useful because we didn’t live in the information age that we do now. “Back in the day” people might actually not know the candidates that well. “Back in the day” the big four television stations were all that connected us to candidates. “Back in the day” politicians had the respect to not flat out lie.

I’m proud by the amount of fact check websites that crop up on my Facebook feed after every momentous political occasion this year. I implore my readers here to always check somewhere ( is a good place to start).

There has always been a gut-check factor with our politics, whether today or yesterday. If you believe that is a cause to flip your vote, then maybe we have more of a race than pundits thought after Wednesday.

Which bachelor is going to get your rose, America?

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