Counseling Kitchen Graphic

Are you in a relationship? If you are not a part of a couple, would you like to be? If your answer is yes, join the crowd. 

Grab your ticket and stand in line, right behind the person clutching the ticket in front of you. Since you have the time, ask yourself why. Why do you want to be part of a couple? Aren’t you enough on your own?

Love is more than likely your reason. You want to be in love and for someone to love you.

Many people who are not in relationships think they’d like to be in one—or at to least know someone with potential. Love is that effervescent emotion, longed for and sought after. If we are single, we probably see people in partnerships and wonder, What about me? Or think, I want some of that.

Author W. S. Gilbert wrote, “It’s love that makes the world go round.” The 1966 hit single by Deon Jackson, “Love Makes The World Go Around,” carried on the theme. But if love makes the world go around, what does that really mean?

Perhaps the “makes the world go around” part is about getting married, having children, watching our children’s children, and so on. Although that old adage is true in many ways, I believe it also means much more.

Before we can be part of a successful, healthy relationship, we have to love ourselves. We’ve got to accept ourselves just the way we are, love what we see, and go from there. I’m not suggesting that we are not allowed to change the things we do not like, but you – in this moment – are all you’ve got. So love yourself! We cannot invite anyone into a place where love doesn’t already reside. Think about it. How could you offer refreshments if your refrigerator is bare?

Working with couples for many years, I have found that some people believe their partner will give them all of the love they need, and they will live happily ever after. That is never the case. The love we need to have is the love that lives inside of each of us. I have my love, you have your love and they have theirs. Sounds simple, yes? No—not really.

The love that I have is mine to share with you. Not to give away. We must first cultivate the love we have—be comfortable with it before we can really share it. If the person with whom we share our love is not acquainted with their reservoir of love, that relationship usually would not make it. We cannot give something to which we do not have access.

Over and over we find ourselves standing in the love-line, clutching our tickets tightly, waiting for something on the outside of us to give us what we already have on the inside.

My suggestions?

  • Relax your hands and let the ticket float away.
  • Leave the line and find a quiet place.
  • Breathe into you and invite love in.
  • Realize you are love itself.
  • Before you share your love with another, you must first get to know it. 

Once you remember that love lives inside of you, then you are ready to share it. 

Or shall I say, when you open the refrigerator door, you’ll have tons to offer.

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