In my frantic search for column items, I came across a lawn sign in Belmont Heights that said, "Hoarder Sale." This perhaps-over-modest announcement (see photo) reminded me of one of my favorite sign pics, “Tons o' Crap” (see photo — let's not even get into the suspect grammar).

• A lot of the humor in bumper stickers and home-made signs also has a religious angle these days. And why not? Drivers in Southern California are known to worship their cars.

For instance, one bumper sticker that I spotted said: "Do you follow Jesus this closely?"

The internet has several versions of that sticker. I'm not certain which I tried to shoot that day on Ocean Boulevard, mainly because I was driving (and missed).

The other driver was going, well, faster than I was.

• Naturally, because no two people seem to agree on anything these days, I found critics of the "do you follow" warning predicting that such an attitude would promote slowpokes.

• Other religious-oriented signs and bumper stickers can be found on-line, including: "Honk if you love Jesus, text while driving if you want to meet him."

"Church Parking: Violators will be baptized."

One marquee that appeared at the Belmont Heights United Methodist Church a while back declared: "Drive carefully. It isn't only cars that are recalled by their makers."

And finally, "If cats could text you back, they wouldn't."

Unless you asked them to.

Steve Harvey can be reached at and @sharvey9.

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