Who says Long Beach doesn’t have everything? A business that sells “fat” food on Seventh Street is next door to another that advertises the body beautiful (see photo).

• Meanwhile, Dennis Snyder found a sign that promised “surprises for her.” Judging from the empty shelves, they might not be the happiest surprises (see photo).

• A nextdoor.com reader reported finding a set of keys in Belmont Shore, as well as a real oldie — a card for Blockbuster Video. The latter, as you may recall went out of business several years ago, after its daring idea to rent apes flopped. (see photo).

• My brother-in-law, John Stein, casually asked his Uber driver what his most unusual customer was. The driver said that honor probably would go to the guy who stripped to the nude during his ride. And what did the Uber man do? He pulled off the freeway and told the rider they weren’t going anywhere unless the guy put his clothes back on. And the customer complied.

After hearing that story, Stein asked the Uber driver if he was nervous about crazy riders. “I have Mace and a camera in four different places in the car,” the driver responded.

• Valentine’s Day is here and I regret to say I have no idea if our latest mystery couple has any special plans. I’m referring of course to the two peafowl that seem to have settled in Belmont Heights, where residents have nicknamed them Pete and Penelope.

A spokesman for Animal Care Services said the peafowl are so intelligent that they recognize their  trucks and “fly away when they see them approach.”

The large-footed animals have been known to sit on the roofs of cars where_well, we won’t go into what they do up there.

Neighbors have told the Belmont Heights Community Assocation that the creatures have taken “a liking to dry cat food.”

All I can say is, I wish my cat liked dry food.

Steve Harvey can be reached at steveharvey9@gmail.com and @sharvey9.

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