This sounds like a joke, but Newsweek magazine reports that some Japanese scientists claim that a chemical used in making McDonald's French fries could be a key to curing baldness.

But what about all the secret visits I made over the years to my local Mac's on Fourth Street and on Anaheim Street, etc. — my life measured out in sides o'fries?

You see, I'm a bald man.

Or maybe there is an explanation. Perhaps a chemical used in making diet colas makes your hair fall out.

Guess I'll have to do more research.

• Food for thought (cont.): Dine Out Long Beach, Restaurant Week 2.0, held Feb. 25 to March 3 this year, will feature special menus concocted by nearly 50 eateries.

Which reminds me of my frustrating efforts to organize my own Only in LB food festival.

Then again, maybe the failure of Only in LB was related to the first sponsors I lined up, offering such delights as "chicken breath," "free smells," "die-in" dining and chicken "things." (see photos).

• Thought of the day: "Why do they put four wheels on shopping carts when only three of them ever work?" Woody Paige, the ESPN commentator, asked the other day.

Made me think of a great compliment paid the city of Long Beach by local novelist Tyler Dilts. In his book "Come Twilight," Dilts singles out the Ralphs in the Marina Pacifica Mall off Pacific Coast Highway as the only market he's "ever visited multiple times without once finding a shopping cart with a bad wheel."

I see a new advertising campaign for the city, built around the slogan: "Long Beach: Home of the Best Wheels Around."

• I've been riding the Blue Line for more than a quarter century and thought I'd seen it all. Then I heard the spiel of an illegal vendor who trod the corridor of my car, saying he had for sale, among other things, "Cokes, beers, ice cream, candy bars, coffee and condoms."

Yes, condoms.

A couple minutes later he mentioned the same product again.

Was he kidding? Not sure. I didn't see anyone order any from him. Certainly not me. To tell the truth, I still had my mind on French fries.

Steve Harvey can be reached at steveharvey9@gmail.com and @sharvey9.

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