Sometimes it’s like every day in Belmont Shore is Halloween, at least crime-wise. Nextdoor.com carried a piece that began:
“Have you seen our stolen gargoyle?..My 4 year old is really sad.” The pilfered gargoyle (see photo) “is about 80-plus pounds, 3 feet tall with one winking eye and a pot belly with one hand on his hip.”
And take heed, gargoyle purloiners.
“He will bring bad luck to those that stole him.”
Who knows? Maybe on Black Cat Crossing.
• Now back to our regular programming: At the age of 72, I've discovered a slew of opportunities for seniors. For instance, Olli @ the Beach offers courses at Cal State Long Beach on such varied subjects as elementary Japanese, intro to “Windows 10,” archery and "Woody Allen & the Meaning of Life."
I’m avoiding archery because it doesn’t seem suited to someone who is accident-prone, such as myself.
But I hope to get into the class on filmmaker Allen though he won’t be attending. Woody has always been one of my favorite philosophers on the basis of his comment on immortality: “I don’t want to live forever through my work. I want to live forever by not dying."
And I’m willing to forgive him for his wisecrack about L.A in “Annie Hall:” “I don’t want to live in a city where the only cultural advantage is that you can make a right turn on a red light.”
• For the more active old-timers, there are exercise classes around town where the atmosphere is often relaxed.. One instructor quipped to a couple of talkative students the other day, “Show some maturity.”
"We're already mature," answered one. "We're senior citizens."
• Don’t think, by the way, that seniors, just because they’re seniors, lack for, uh, passion. At another workout the subject of a class on the danger of falling came up. "I wouldn't mind falling on that guy,” whispered one woman to another, as they eyed a handsome older gent. (Sorry to say the gent wasn’t your correspondent.)
• Speaking of wild language: A kindly reader sent me a newspaper story about a time capsule that was found at an old Long Beach church. The story reported that in 1925 Long Beach Poly was having some behavioral problems and had discussed the possibility of an “antislang week” in which “words such as ‘ain’t’ and ‘hain’t’ would be forbidden.”
I'm assuming Woody Allen never found about it.
Steve Harvey can be contacted at firstname.lastname@example.org or @sharvey9.