Welcome to Only in Long Beach’s giant Halloween Issue, which appears every 13 years, more or less.
Today’s terrifying tales (see photos) involve such subjects as:
— A haunted outhouse.
— An evil spirit of a hound.
— A warning near Paris’s Catacomb skulls landmark to anyone who wants to avoid big problems at Customs (snapped by my vacationing daughter, Sarah, of Bixby Knolls).
• Elsewhere, we spotlight a shirt in one kid’s shop that might chill some shoppers until they realized it was meant for 4- or 5-year-olds. It said: “I still live with my parents.”
• In Long Beach, I spotted a Halloween billboard adjacent to an Elm Avenue sign (scary, how close that is to Elm Street! ).
• Meanwhile, a car commercial during the USC-Stanford game showed a dad using his car on the freeway to block a big, runaway pastry that is imperiling his daughter. No kidding. What could be more terrifying than to be threatened by a giant donut?
• Finally, did you read where some fast-food outlets in Long Beach and elsewhere are playing classical music to discourage vagrants from hanging around?
This method has been tried before — as long ago as 1995 newspaper accounts said that Canadian stores had begun playing Barry Manilow for the same reason.
And Manilow could only blame himself: “I write the songs…”
Steve Harvey can be reached at email@example.com and @sharvey9.