There's so much chatter about crime on nextdoor.com, I expect it to spawn a new TV show: "NCI: Belmont Shore."

Residents have been warned to lock doors and gates — some actually don't — and not to overlook obvious crime-starters.

• In the latter category, one reader cited a case in which a woman sewed her jewelry into the hem of her drapes.

Then she left herself a big note on the fridge. It said: "Jewelry hidden in hem of the drape."

Perhaps the local thieves thought it was too good to be true — a trick of some kind. Anyway she apparently wasn't burglarized.

• I was reminded of a note on a parked car that my sister spotted during the old taped-deck era. Tape deck already stolen," the note said.

Then there was the colleague of mine who put a fake tape deck in his glove compartment. Sure enough, a thief ripped it out and made off with a shiny piece of junk.

• Some of the victims on nextdoor.com have managed to see a bit of humor in their situation. "I had a set of rims stolen out of my garage and they didn't take the 12 cases of beer I had there," a reader wrote. "At first I was grateful, but then insulted: They didn't like my beer?"

• Let me have one more boozy column item, bartender: Mystery novelist (and former Grunion columnist) Wendy Hornsby sent along a "Beer/Incontinence" grouping (see photo). "Makes sense, doesn't it?" she said.

• Not making sense, at least to me, was the posting of a discount for a no-cost flu shot (see photo). Bartender, one more...

• Frazzled users of the 405 can at least derive some humor from the novel "China Rich Girlfriend" by Kevin Kwan. One character said she was hiding out in a child custody case on the Westside in what she calls "the hellhole that was Mar Vista." The character sees irony in the fact that "Mar Vista" means "view of the sea... but the only view we ever had was of that damn 405 freeway."

• You may have heard that Dunkin' Donuts is taking the "donuts" out of its name. Wants to concentrate on coffee. But what's going to happen to the giant donut on Seventh Street? It was formerly the Daily Grind and Espresso Bar before Dunkin' took over a couple of years ago (see photo). Anyway, conversion from the pastry on the roof to a giant coffee cup doesn't seem feasible. Maybe a kid's inner tube?

Steve Harvey can be reached at steveharvey9@gmail.com and @sharvey9.

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