Most subtle reminder of the week:
An electronic sign near the corner of Pacific Coast Highway and Loynes Drive said:
“Need Help Slowing Down? We’re Hear to Help (Signed) LBPD.”
Better known as the Long Beach Police Department.
Of course, the way vehicles bounce on lumpy Loynes these days, I’m surprised that no cars have been cited for flying.
• Mail call:
”Dear Mr. Harvey,” wrote Ray and Mina Elam of Cedar City, Utah. “Love your column. The paper is sent to us by our granddaughter who lives in Long Beach. We were able to visit her for a week recently and had a fantastic time. Before we went, we sent for the official guide for tourists and haven’t stopped giggling yet over an ad that was in there” (see photo).
• Mail call (cont.): Matthew Schaffer, a Long Beachite (or is it Long Beachian?), sends a note defending Ruby, the bookstore cat at the Gatsby shop. I had recently written that Ruby wasn’t very friendly. The few times I have petted Ruby she has shown me her teeth. During a book signing the other day, Ruby strolled up and down like a runway model.
Shaffer says that Ruby “has shown me nothing but kindness during my numerous visits... Even when I interrupted her slumber, she was as friendly as can be.”
Hmm. Doesn’t sound like the Ruby I know. I wonder if this mysteriously friendly feline could be an im-puss-ter?
• Trivia time: Some questions asked at the L.A. Public Library, according to author Susan Orlean (“The Library Book”):
What “Romeo looked like.”
How to say, “The necktie is in the bathtub,’ in Swedish.”
“Whether it is necessary to rise if National Anthem is playing on radio or television.” Library answered that “one need only do what is natural and unforced; for instance, one does not rise while bathing...”
And, finally, another caller wanted to know “whether Perry Mason’s secretary Della Street is named after a street and/or whether there is a real street named Della Street.”
Actually, Della Street came before the secretary.
And, even though you didn’t ask, there is a Lois Lane in Long Beach.
• The instructor of my senior citizens exercise class looked into the possibility of starting a belly-dancer class. But plans were shelved because only two dancers applied.
Gee, I wonder who the other one was?
Steve Harvey can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org and @sharvey9.