Sounds like some health nuts are taking extreme measures.

My niece Liz was in a Whole Foods store to buy La Croix pamplemousse (sparkling water).

"We found the last 12-packs in the store and put them in our cart," she related. "When we got to the checkout line, there was only one 12-pack. Someone had stolen our sparkling water while we were shopping!"

And here I thought pamplemousse was sacred. (That's the French word for grapefruit, by the way).

• There's so much uncertainty these days. For instance, dining on Oregon "surgeon" may be dietetic but what's the co-pay? (see photo).

• And what about crab cakes, which I love? Have I been eating fake claws (photo by Barry Nackos)?

• Restaurant service can be a problem. Maybe that's why the Chinese have been developing robot waiters, according to the New York Times. But they've had only limited success in that country. The paper reported one instance in Beijing of a motorized man's disastrous attempt to carry soup to the table.

Haven't heard of robot waiters anywhere, else. I'm pretty sure I've never been served by one in LB unless you count the expression-less young man at one restaurant who insisted on taking my order without ever writing anything down. (And botched the order).

• Other food news: The June issue of Westways magazine says that a study found that "Long Beach consumed more ice cream per capita than any other city in the country." Not clear why. All the hot weather out here?

You can be sure I will investigate this matter. Sounds more interesting than pamplemousse.

• Caught a movie about telemarketers, "Sorry to Bother You," which was comical but, I thought, lacked the lively byplay that often ensues between caller and victim (excuse me, would-be customer).

I had a friend who used to explain to marketers that he had just gotten out of jail and needed a friend — would they be his? My buddy also would try to sell the caller items first, his old couch for instance. When the caller said he wasn't interested, my buddy would say with feigned anger, "Oh, my couch isn't good enough for you?" Usually this was followed by the welcome sound of the telemarketer hanging up.

• Yes, you need to keep your sense of humor.

A woman attending a seniors exercise class was overheard telling this story: "My daughter phoned and said, 'Mom, I've lost my wallet and I can't find my I.D.' I said, "Welcome to my world.'"

Steve Harvey can be reached at steveharvey9@gmail.com and @sharvey9.

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