Waiter, there’s a warning in my soup! The fine print in the menu of a Long Beach restaurant requests that diners who have an issue with the food or service to “ask to see a manager before talking to social media.”

Yelp! I mean, yikes!

• This approach differs from one bold initiative by an L.A. barber shop that bragged about how people “hate us on Yelp.” The shop (still in business) went so far as to quote one customer talking about “the worst experience that I’ve ever had at any barbershop (see accompanying).

• Frequent column contributor Don Bentley, meanwhile, noticed that one Lotto ad could drive people to wine-drinkers (or at least copy-readers) (see photo).

• While we’re talking about the power of negative thinking, I recall a shop in Culver City that, far from boasting how lavish it was, said it “looks like Sears blew up" (see photo).

• And let’s not forget businesses whose names practically challenge you to step inside, places like Rent-a-Wreck and Two Idiots Selling Furniture (the two, uh, owners, went under).

• Speaking of outlandish offers and names, I can’t leave out Tesla CEO Elon Musk and the “fart app” for his cars. No joke.

It’s a back-seat cushion programmed to give off such a sound on demand or when the turn signal is on. (Well, completing a left turn in Southern California is cause for a great celebration.)

Musk, by the way, wrote on Twitter: “Please put ‘invented car fart’ on my gravestone. This is my only request.” I think I’ll stick to flowers.

Steve Harvey, who is a real person not an actor, can be reached at steveharvey9@gmail.com and @sharvey9.

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