For you residents bedeviled by littering dogs (you know what I mean) or noisy parrots, skunks or peacocks, I may have found a solution: A neighbor on Mia Mar displays a sign that says “Beware Attack Squirrel.”
And, sure enough, when I walked by the house with my daughter Sarah, there was a furry security guard on duty (see her photo).
• On this subject of lawn protection measures, I’m reminded of a friend of a friend who was angered by a pooch that regularly left deposits on his lawn. This fellow had a connection at the L.A. Zoo so he arranged to have some of the lion’s fertilizer spread on the lawn. The poor dog, so the story goes, sniffed the poop, let out a fearful cry and set sail down the street, not to be seen for a very long time.
• Writer Hal Lancaster of Long Beach couldn’t help but notice a store sign that said, “Psychic Barber" (see photo).
“Does (the shop) just tell you what your hair will look like in the future?” Lancaster asked. (Note: I ‘m not qualified to answer with my chrome dome. Anyone can predict what my scalp will look like in the future — bare.)
• Elsewhere: I thought it was a joke when I heard diners discussing a “Dog Mode” for some Tesla electric vehicles.
But it’s true. (Guess I’d forgotten I’m in Southern California.)
Dog mode allows a pet owner to duck inside a store for last-second shopping and leave the animal inside the the car allegedly with no danger to the pooch (climate control remains constant inside).
And for worried passersby, a message pops up in the car on a screen inside that says, “My owner will be back soon. Don’t worry. The AC ‘s on.”
But you know what I noticed? There’s no mention of a “Cat Mode.”
• There are some who say that affluent Santa Monica is sort of snooty. I disagree.
I was walking down the sidewalk there when I saw a street person approaching from the other direction while spewing obscenities. As we passed he suddenly noticed me and said, ”Excuse me.”
Steve Harvey can be contacted at firstname.lastname@example.org and @sharvey9 except when he is in Adult Mode.