Ah, the romance of the actor's life. The program for "Pride and Prejudice" at the Long Beach Playhouse includes these biographical notes on Chaz R. Bright-Haup:
"Chaz is currently suffocating from paralyzing student debt and the weight of his own ambition. His deepest desire is to find an affordable apartment near West Covina."
• So much food is sold by illegal vendors on the Blue, Red and Expo lines that I'm surprised the trains aren't rated by Michelin. I was aboard a Blue car when a passenger bought a big bag of Doritos. But that wasn't enough. The customer said, "I wish I had hot sauce." Whereupon the vendor pulled out a bottle from his back pocket and squirted some of the contents into the man's bag.
Talk about service!
• A friend noticed that one Seventh Street car wash offered reduced, "early bird" rates until 11 a.m. My friend, who is from the East, said: "Only in Southern California would 11 a.m. be considered an 'early bird' time." Shhh, don't wake us up!
• Not sure if this adds up, either. My old colleague Robert Welkos sent along a photo of a self-dueling sign (see photo).
• Elvis has been hot lately. I read that the mansion where he spent his honeymoon in Palm Springs is up for sale. And, earlier, the old SeaPort Marina Hotel was knocked down, but not before the authorities ran a marquee that proclaimed, "Elvis Stayed Here 1972 And ’76" (see photo).
• I read the other day where L.A. County is planning to hold sessions with the public about improving the L.A. River's appearance — and maybe even cut down on some of the wisecracks about the concrete-bottomed waterway. Good luck. The river has been a joke since at least 1928 when a classmate of my mother made this pledge in her yearbook:
"Yours until the L.A. River wets its bed."
Steve Harvey can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org and @sharvey9.