Welcome to Only in Long Beach’s giant Halloween Issue, which appears every 13 years, more or less.
Waiter, there’s a warning in my soup! The fine print in the menu of a Long Beach restaurant requests that diners who have an issue with the food or service to “ask to see a manager before talking to social media.”
In my frantic search for column items, I came across a lawn sign in Belmont Heights that said, "Hoarder Sale." This perhaps-over-modest announcement (see photo) reminded me of one of my favorite sign pics, “Tons o' Crap” (see photo — let's not even get into the suspect grammar).
For you residents bedeviled by littering dogs (you know what I mean) or noisy parrots, skunks or peacocks, I may have found a solution: A neighbor on Mia Mar displays a sign that says “Beware Attack Squirrel.”
In the program for “Silent Sky," which played at the Long Beach Playhouse, actress Amber Hill thanked her cast and crew “for making each long drive from Anaheim in rush hour.”
Here’s what passes for a cheerful note these days. A Belmont Heights bakery called Scratch posted a sign that said, “The more you weigh, the harder you are to kidnap. Stay safe. Eat cake.”
As the co-proprietor of Ma ‘n’ Pa market, Zac Henderson has witnessed some curious scenes. But it wasn’t until the other day that he saw a customer waving a piece of beef jerky at a dog locked in a car outside the Belmont Shore grocery.
A City Hall report says a constituent suggested speeding up Council meetings by using emojis to signify "yes" or "no" votes. No one has adopted that suggestion.
A portion of the Blue Line is out of service for repairs, but Long Beach travelers who gripe about service should have been around in the 19th Century. Then they had to depend on a steam-engine line that frequently broke down and was nicknamed the Get Out & Push Railroad (see photo).
Who says Long Beach doesn’t have everything? A business that sells “fat” food on Seventh Street is next door to another that advertises the body beautiful (see photo).
Turns out that Long Beach isn’t the only local city invaded by peacocks. In fact, the blue-green coated creatures are such a feature of life in Rolling Hills Estates that city warns readers about them in the FAQ (frequently asked questions) section of its website.
Just when I thought I’d gotten over the Dodgers’ miserable performance in the World Series, I came across a book, “Night-Night California,” that had to rub it in anew. The book shows an empty Dodger Stadium with the text, “The crowds have gone away. Turn out the lights, close up the gates un…
Ah, the romance of the actor's life. The program for "Pride and Prejudice" at the Long Beach Playhouse includes these biographical notes on Chaz R. Bright-Haup:
I just learned in my seniors exercise class that one way to tone the muscles in your jaw, mouth and eyes is to assume what is called, in yoga circles, the “lion pose” (see photo).
Don't know if you've heard, but the Washington Post recently named Long Beach the city with the most “nice days” in the U.S.” (210 per year). Standards included “moderately warm temperatures (and) at least partial sunshine."
You can tell it's summer in Long Beach when Zeep the Sheep, the plastic mascot of Fire Station 2, models his latest Speedo suit (after apparently surviving a shark attack) (see photo).
I was on a Metro Blue Line car the other day when a free-lance vendor came through selling socks. Despite his snappy repartee — "Last calls for socks, fellas" — no one offered to try on a pair.
Difficult as it may be to believe, California has no official state sport. An official state insect, yes (the dog-face butterfly). An official fossil (the sabertooth cat). Even an official grass — no, it isn't cannabis; it's purple needlegrass.
I recently trekked to the King Tut exhibition at the California Science Center — how could I not be interested when ancient Egypt and modern Long Beach have so much in common?
I read in the Press-Telegram that, since cannabis use was decriminalized in this state, "only a fraction of pot offenders have applied to have (their) histories erased."
Caffeine Chronicles: Perhaps it was just one of those Mondays. A woman walked into a coffee shop on Second Street, looked briefly over the offerings, then shrugged and told the barista:
This city's nextdoor.com contributors have alerted the world about the disappearance of such creatures as "a runaway baby tortoise" and a parakeet that "will more than likely fly right to you (if) you put your hands in the air and yell, 'Touchdown!'"
You never know what you're going to encounter in Long Beach. Reader Tom Gallo was out for a walk in Belmont Heights, when he came across an anonymous, home-made sign that he snapped. It said:
This sounds like a joke, but Newsweek magazine reports that some Japanese scientists claim that a chemical used in making McDonald's French fries could be a key to curing baldness.
In the "How-do-you-lose this?" category, a nextdoor.com member reports finding "an Invisalign thing (dental braces) for the bottom teeth... lying on the grass by the curb" on Park Avenue.
The legalization of marijuana recalls a period when a certain beverage was outlawed. Just to make sure that there’s no confusion about the status of that beverage, one company has a billboard on the 405 in Carson that says: “Legal in California Since 1930.”
Class, you'll recall that when last we met, I lectured on unusual requests that baristas receive in coffee shops. Requests such as, "Can you hold my phone? I'll be back in two hours." Or: "Could you tie my shoes?"